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This is Why I Will Never Visit a Cruising Place Again, and You Shouldn’t Too

These two must be his friends. Poor guy. He was just 18 and had panicked so much. I reached home, silently had food with family, told the story to close friends over chat. I got all sorts of reactions — sympathy, shock, laughter and advice.

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There were also some doubts- Could Mr. X be involved with the policemen? Was reel life replicating itself in real life? Their modus operandi involves interrogating the guy you were with, making you feel guilty for both of you. Was it all a scam? I am sure this incident is very small compared to what other people have to face.

The reason I wrote this article was to remind people about the risks of cruising. If at all you go for it, remember this. No more cruising. Thank you very much. Remember Me. Lost your password? Exclusive Exclusive See all.

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Blogs See all. Gaylaxy Issues See all. Gaylaxy Sep-Oct, November 21, Second to circuit parties, gyms are some of the most erotic places in the world. A place where sweaty guys work out in minimal clothing, strip in front of each other, take showers, and sometimes sit together in a steam room is going to be a gay cruise zone — how could it be anything else?

Some gyms will have a stronger cruising vibe than others, depending on the neighborhood. Gayborhood gyms are almost asking for public sex, while gyms in smaller towns and conservative communities might be higher risk.


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In general, though, you are bound to face some repercussion if you get caught by a staff member. Many people, myself included, like to people-watch at coffee shops. Coffee shops are places where you can retreat from the bustle of life, read a book, do some work on the computer, and sip your overpriced lavender mocha.

A good coffee shop has a feeling of de-stress and coziness. And since I love being around men — their presence automatically makes me feel comfortable, like being in a locker room — I love coffee shops in gay neighborhoods. Cruising comes naturally to these places, since people-watching and cruising are basically the same thing, and what better way to lick the foam off your lips than having someone lick it off for you?

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And the magazines! Unzipped, Attitude, and The Advocate were my first signs of gay life; the first proof I had that others were out there. Armstrong, my life was changed forever. I grabbed the book and ran to the restroom. I sat in a stall for an hour, turning the pages slowly, trembling. Some of the best cruising happens in places where you least expect it — at museums, art galleries, theatres, libraries, and the opera.

At these places, stay primed and ready, and go with your instincts if you are getting a cruising vibe from one of your fellow fine art patrons. He is not studying the Mame poster behind you. Linger until everyone has left the restroom. Bend him over in the bathroom stall or, better yet, find some austere and dramatic place you two can tuck away for some privacy. You might miss the first 15 minutes of Act Two, but nothing ever happens in the first 15 minutes of Act Two. Maybe it is located in a gayborhood, or maybe it is the one business in your conservative town where you can be yourself.

Visit often, be friends with the people who work there, and keep an eye peeled — ready and restless guys are around every corner. I knew my barber was a keeper the first time I sat in his chair: Zero on the sides. Unlike all the straight barbers I have had in the past, my barber is a 6-foot-tall sweetheart who knows exactly what haircuts gay men are wearing these days undercuts, fauxhawks, pompadours, high-and-tights.

But what he did not know is that his shop is total cruising zone. That is, until I filled him in. Many barbershops are cruising zones, especially if they have gay-heavy clientele. As we wait, we are watching men being groomed, knowing that at some point we will be up there, turned and swiveled for the guys to inspect from every angle. Following the logic of the barbershop, any waiting room can be a cruising zone.

You can feel the cruising vibes as soon as you walk in and sign your name — always wear something sexy when you go get blood work done. I have never been to a gay AA or CMA crystal meth meeting, but I have heard from friends who attend them that these groups are notorious eye wars. This makes sense to me because I have attended a few HIV support groups, especially after I first tested positive, and the cruising vibes were strong.

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People come together and need each other when they are in difficult places, and sometimes sex is part of that. In my lowest moments, I have cruised for sex simply because I needed to be around someone else or forget my problems for a little bit. There is something important about this type of cruising, because while it might not be totally healthy, it is totally human.

Craigslist was launched out of San Francisco in Almost immediately, people began posting personal ads for sex services, companionship, kink, and to satisfy every fetish you can imagine, from sitting on cakes to voyeurism to some considerably darker fare minors, cannibalism, you name it. Craigslist changed the game for men seeking men. Sites catering exclusively to gay dating and personals came later.

Gay sex sites came with them — BarebackRT. Gay cruising had found its home on the web, and suddenly we needed to spend more time in front of our computers. In , the fabric of gay life changed again. In the future, we will look back at a massive turning in gay culture — when gay hookup apps, which locate other users through the geolocation devices in your smartphone, hit the market.

In , Grindr had 4 million users in countries across the globe, with 1. Those numbers have doubtlessly increased today. Any mention of Grindr in will inevitably result in some eye rolls. Tiresome arguments between guys who hate hookup apps and guys who love them continue to rage across gay media outlets. Some say Grindr and other apps have destroyed gay life. Others say they have simply redefined it. Regardless which side you fall on, hookup apps are here to stay.

I think the success of hookup apps was fairly foreseeable. If you give gay men an effortless way to hunt for sex on-the-go, everywhere they go, all the time, they are going to go for it.